5 Reasons Why Hey-Hanging Insecurity Is Bad for Your Mental Health and Career

The “hey-varing” trend has recently flooded the media, spawning a flood of stories about what it means, why it’s happening, and how gross it is. I wrote a post for Forbes.com that gave an interview with The Wall Street Journal and an appearance on CBS News. I was surprised that some media outlets took a humorous approach to the story, failing to grasp the seriousness of how this type of asynchronous communication can negatively impact employee mental health and add to an already stressful, chaotic and confusing workplace.

Problems with communication shortcuts

Just as the vague phrase, “We need to talk” leaves a spouse hanging, wreaking havoc on a marriage, the three-letter word “hey” brings to light the worst-case scenario and strikes fear into the hearts of employees. Why? Because communication shortcuts prompt the eleven-letter word, “uncertainty.” And uncertainty triggers the sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight or stress response). And the consequences of stress affect mental health, work performance and morale.

As a marriage therapist, I find that these truncated methods of communication – “often not serious in the final analysis” can be damaging to both intimate and professional relationships. Nothing is scarier than the uncertain stability of your marriage or job—especially if they’re already tenuous.

“Hey-varing” is just one example of how communication shortcuts are misunderstood, even when people mean well. This causes employees to jump to threatening conclusions about what a manager or co-worker is thinking or their intent. Plus, remote and hybrid work leaves us clueless as to whether a colleague is at the workstation or elsewhere.

“In physical office environments, sometimes it’s easier to send a colleague a quick Slack or Teams message instead of walking up to their desk,” says Brenda Pohlman, vice president and practice leader at Workhuman. “In these cases, sending a quick ‘hey’ to get their attention may seem harmless enough. But when employees don’t know why they’re being contacted, especially if the person contacting them is their manager or someone in a position of authority over them, can cause serious anxiety. You don’t want to let people think they may have done something wrong or made a mistake

Unwritten workplace rules cause miscommunication and disengagement between employees and affect work engagement, performance and morale. Communication shortcuts can perpetuate an unpredictable and in some cases toxic work culture because they:

1. Activate the sympathetic nervous system (stress or fear response).
2. The lack of a wider context, increasing the lack of communication and disconnection between colleagues.
3. Waste valuable time and reduce productivity.
4. Spread tensions between team members, hindering group morale.
5. Exacerbate the subjugation and paranoia already present of the employer’s smooth maneuvering as “smooth cutting”.

The psychology behind workplace insecurity

Mismanaged fear is responsible for most poor communication in organizations. It is important for business leaders to consider the psychological safety of their employees and how their mental health affects the company’s bottom line.

The human mind is like Velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity. The inescapable uncertainties of working life immediately evoke our fight-or-flight response. Does my boss appreciate my work? Will I be hired for this position? Will my colleagues like my presentation? Your survival brain is constantly updating your world, making judgments about what is safe and what is not. She will do almost anything for the sake of security, because you are inclined to it overrate threats and underestimate the your ability to handle them.

The human brain prefers to know an outcome one way or another to take the edge off. If he doesn’t know what’s around the corner, he can’t keep us out of harm’s way. His disregard for uncertainty causes him to make up all kinds of unproven stories hundreds of times a day, because uncertainty equals risk. A colleague does not respond to a message. Your boss wears eyebrows and uses a certain tone of voice. You are not a finalist for the position. You assume the worst, over-personalize the threat, and jump to conclusions.

Scientists report that living with job insecurity takes a greater toll on health than actually losing your job, making you more vulnerable to illness and worsening existing chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or depression. Studies show that employees who live with job insecurity have worse overall health and more depression than employees who actually lose their jobs. Research also shows that uncertainty is more stressful than anticipation of inevitable pain. British researchers found that study participants who knew for certain that they would receive a painful electric shock felt calmer and less anxious than those who were told they only had a 50% chance of receiving an electric shock. .

Strengthen your “uncertainty tolerance”.

If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, you will reinforce your fear and end up at war with yourself, resisting and arguing with your situation, instead of living it. Accepting versus resisting uncertainty is a tall order, but it’s counterintuitive. of author, said Eckhart Tolle“If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased vitality, alertness and creativity.

Studies show that your ability to accept job uncertainty reduces stress and brings peace of mind. Your best defense against communication shortcuts and job insecurity is to manage job stress by sharpening your “uncertainty tolerance.€

Your mindset during uncertain times is your most powerful ally—the only thing you can control in a situation that is beyond your control. Uncertainty is scary, but fear, panic, and worry add insult to injury—another layer of stress. Shifting your perspective and reminding yourself that many gifts await you in the unknown, containing many positive as well as negative outcomes, can be a game changer. This re-framing increases your tolerance for uncertainty, removes the waiting period, and brings balance to your brain’s ability to more equally anticipate positive and negative outcomes.